One Wednesday recently, a lone motor officer stopped a driver for speeding on the outskirts of town. The motorman asked the driver for his license. The man replied, "I don’t have it, I'm revoked."
The motorman looked intently at the driver, asking, "Where is the registration and proof of insurance for the vehicle?"
The driver gulped visibly and looked down, admitting, "This isn't my car, I stole it."
Perplexed and concerned, the motorman confirmed, "Stole it, did you?"
The man then said, "I think I saw the papers in the glove box when I stashed my gun there."
With his hand on his own pistol and holster unsnapped, the motorman exclaimed, "There is a gun in the car?"
The driver's eyes widened as he replied, "Yes sir, I put it right there after I shot the car owner and then stuffed the body into the trunk."
The man's affect was calm, almost too calm, thought the motorman, he must be a serial killer. Seeing promotion and glory, the motorman pointed his pistol at the driver's face. The motorman calmed himself and asked, "So, you're admitting there is a dead body in the car?"
"Yes, sir." was the reply.
Realizing he needed back-up fast, and witnesses for his moment of greatness, the motorman radioed for all available units to respond for a homicide apprehension. The senior shift sergeant also headed there, a million candlepower of lights and 150-dB siren all blazing. He told the officers the hold everything until he got there.
Encountering the motorman and backups all around the driver sitting there with his hands up, motionless, the sergeant nodded to the officers who swiftly extracted the driver, put him on the ground and handcuffed him so fast a rodeo competitor would've been proud. The excited motorman then told the sergeant and others what had transpired.
The sergeant strolled over to the driver and demanded, "Just who the hell are you?"
The driver replied, "My license is in my wallet, sir, in my back pocket."
The sergeant took out the driver's wallet and removed a valid driver's licence. He then asked, "What about the gun?"
"I don't have a gun, never owned one, sir."
"Where did you get the car?"
"It's mine. Registration is in the glove box. You can check."
The sergeant went to the car and opened the glove box, finding only the car manual, DMV registration, and proof of insurance.
"Do you mind if I open the trunk too?"
"No problem, take a look."
The sergeant opened the trunk and rummaged around in the old containers of antifreeze and fast-food bags, then summoned the motorman to look. There was nothing there but trash and a spare tire.
The motorman began to protest, "But, but..."
The driver asked, "I don't understand what all this is about, sir?"
The sergeant told him, "Motorman Smith here says you're revoked, this car is stolen, and you have a dead body in the trunk from when you killed the car owner with a gun from the glove box."
"What!?!? It's my car, my license has no tickets, and I've never seen such conduct by the law..." His voice trailed off for a moment, then he added, "I bet he tried to say I was speeding, too."