Do you know the front of a tree from the back?

BUBBA, A REDNECK FROM GEORGIA, DECIDES TO TRAVEL ACROSS THE SOUTH TO
VIRGINIA. WHEN HE GETS TO FRANKLIN, HE LIKES THE PLACE SO MUCH
THAT HE DECIDES TO STAY. BUT FIRST HE MUST FIND A JOB!

HE WALKS INTO THE INTERNATIONAL PAPER COMPANY OFFICE AND FILLS OUT AN
APPLICATION AS AN EXPERIENCED LOG INSPECTOR.
IT'S HIS LUCKY DAY!!! THEY JUST HAPPEN TO BE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE, BUT
FIRST, THE LOG FOREMAN TAKES HIM FOR A RIDE INTO THE FOREST IN THE
COMPANY PICKUP TRUCK TO SEE HOW MUCH HE KNOWS.

THE FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND POINTS AT A
TREE 'SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE? I WANT YOU TO TELL ME WHAT SPECIES IT
IS AND HOW MANY BOARD FEET OF LUMBER IT CONTAINS.'

THE REDNECK PROMPTLY ANSWERS, 'THAT THAR'S A WHITE PINE, 383 BOARD
FEET OF LUMBER IN 'ER.'

THE FOREMAN IS IMPRESSED!

HE PUTS THE TRUCK IN MOTION AND STOPS ABOUT A MILE DOWN THE ROAD. HE
POINTS AT ANOTHER TREE THROUGH THE PASSENGER WINDOW AND ASKS THE SAME
QUESTION. THIS TIME, IT'S A BIGGER TREE OF A DIFFERENT CLASS.

'THAT'S A LOBLOLLY PINE AND SHE'S GOT ABOUT 456 CLEAR BOARD FEET.'

THE FOREMAN IS REALLY IMPRESSED WITH THE GOOD OL' BOY, HE HAS BEEN
QUICK AND GOT THE ANSWERS RIGHT WITHOUT USING A CALCULATOR!

ONE MORE TEST - THEY DRIVE A LITTLE FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD, AND THE
FOREMAN STOPS AGAIN.
THIS TIME, HE POINTS ACROSS THE ROAD THROUGH HIS DRIVER SIDE WINDOW
AND SAYS, 'AND WHAT ABOUT THAT ONE?'

BEFORE THE FOREMAN FINISHES POINTING, THE REDNECK SAYS, 'WHITE OAK,
242 BOARD FEET AT BEST.'

THE FOREMAN SPINS THE TRUCK AROUND AND HEADS BACK TO THE OFFICE. A
LITTLE TICKED OFF BECAUSE HE THINKS THE RED NECK IS SMARTER THAN HE
IS. AS THEY NEAR THE OFFICE, THE FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK AND ASKS
BUBBA TO STEP OUTSIDE.

HE HANDS HIM A PIECE OF CHALK AND TELLS HIM, 'SEE THAT TREE OVER
THERE? 'I WANT YOU TO MARK AN X ON THE FRONT OF THAT TREE!'

THE FOREMAN THINKS TO HIMSELF, 'IDIOT, HOW THE HELL WOULD HE KNOW
WHICH IS THE FRONT OF THE TREE EVEN IF THE TREE HAD A FRONT?'

WHEN BUBBA REACHES THE TREE, HE GOES AROUND IT LOOKING AT THE GROUND
AND FINALLY REACHES UP AND PLACES A WHITE X ON THE TRUNK.

HE WALKS BACK TO THE FOREMAN AND HANDS HIM THE CHALK. 'THAT THAR'S THE
FRONT,' THE REDNECK SAYS. THE FOREMAN LAUGHS TO HIMSELF AND ASKS
SARCASTICALLY, 'HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THAT'S THE FRONT OF THE
TREE?'

BUBBA LOOKS DOWN AT HIS FEET, WHILE RUBBING THE TOE OF HIS LEFT BOOT
CLEANING IT IN THE GRAVEL AND REPLIES,

'CUZ SOMEBODY TOOK A CRAP BEHIND IT.

HE GOT THE JOB, AND IS NOW THE FOREMAN!

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