Things our wives say...

I've been married to the same woman for 32 years. She's not as gullible as she once was, but she still surprises me now and then.
When we were first married, I'd tell her things like "you get better mileage heading South because you're going downhill"....."Oh, OK, that makes sense"

Or the first one, when she asked "which way should I cut this cantaloupe?"
"well honey, you have to cut it vertically or there won't be a hole in the middle"....."Oh, OK, that makes sense"

I lost count of these tidbits of wisdom that I would impart on her over the years, but she came up with a classic the other night.

I'm watching the NBA finals on the big screen TV, which she wasn't happy about. The announcer says "and that's the end of the 3rd quarter"
Too which my wife replies, "well how many quarters are there in a basketball game?"

She's a good cook :)

" I know exactly where I am, this is where I got lost last time"

I hear it,s hip and trendy to ride the sofa, it's the same as camping only different.

signed
auto correct

Tex -
If I didn't know better I'd say you're married to my ex-wife's sister.

When she saw my 3/4 ton GMC with the rear slightly elevated she looked a little puzzled and asked why it was so high. I told her it was for better fuel mileage. I'm always going downhill. With a dead straight serious face she says "Oh... will that work on cars, too?"

I thought my spleen was going to explode from trying to not laugh.

I once told my wife that the radio in my car was broken and it didnt pick up the station she wanted to listed to. It worked once.

Sounds more like "things I tell my wife".
I just give my wife the answer to her question. That way I look smarter and she gets good info that maybe she can use later.
But trying to make her look stupid is one way to go.

A friend of mine had two dilly's for wives . His first was with him one night leaving our house after a few beers and he asked her if anything was comming . She said no . He pulled out and after a near miss , yelled at her and said , thought you said nothing was comming ! She responded by telling him she couldn't see it because the headlights blinded her .
second wife used to interject into our coversations some wisdom from time to time and we would often chuckle at the things she had to say and she would follow with "see ! i'm not as stupid as I look am I ?"
Whats even funnier is , I now have a wife that says that from time to time , no , it is not the same woman .
Kenneth