Missing WIfe - Frantic Husband

from another forum :-):


A husband went to the police station to report his missing wife:

Husband : I’ve lost my wife, she went shopping yesterday and has still not come home.

Sergeant : What is her height ?

Husband : Oh, 5 something . . .

Sergeant : Build?

Husband : Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant : Color of eyes?

Husband : Never noticed.

Sergeant : Color of hair?

Husband : Changes according to season.

Sergeant : What was she wearing?

Husband : Ah, ah, blue jeans -- I don’t remember exactly.

Sergeant : Did she go in a car?

Husband : yes.

Sergeant : What kind of car was it?

Husband : 2015 Corvette Stingray 3LT with the Z51 Performance Package, shark gray metallic paint, with the 6.2 litre V8 engine with Direct Injection generating 460 HP. 8-speed paddle-shift automatic transmission, and GT bucket seats, and has a very thin scratch on the front left door.……………. at this point the husband started crying...

Sergeant : Don't worry sir.......We’ll find your car .

Wow

Lol

I don't get it.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by foxx

I don't get it.

---

My neighbor Joanne cut 18 inches off her hair and has a boy cut, she was sitting across my dinning table and asked me point blank "Do you notice anything different?"
I am like, awwwwh, gosh I don't know...I am sorry I am not sure.
But I can you that she drive a silver Merc Suv with Cali lic plates and micheline truck tires... ;-)

But where's the joke? ;)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by foxx

But where's the joke? ;)

---

Jack Benny and Johnny Carson could make some of us laugh without saying anything.
Others need to get hit on the head by Don Riccles.

I know. :)

I was trying to keep the "joke" going by perpetuating the idea that I am just a clueless male that doesn't get fact that he doesn't "get it". I am guilty of that very thing every day. When I was a kid my mom would go to the hair dresser every Friday to "have her hair done." Truthfully, I could never tell the difference, but I knew, because, it was Friday, the first thing I had to tell her when I got home from school was how nice her hair looked.

Even now, if my wife does something different with her hair, or gets a new outfit, I rarely notice. I might be thinking, "Dang, she's hot!", but for the life of me, I could not tell you why I think so... She just is. For me, that's enough. But if I try to explain that to her, I get into more trouble. :)

Thats the problem with the internet, Benny and Carson wouldnt have been funny at all.
And people are often misunderstood.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by foxx

Even now, if my wife does something different with her hair, or gets a new outfit, I rarely notice. I might be thinking, "Dang, she's hot!", but for the life of me, I could not tell you why I think so... She just is. For me, that's enough. But if I try to explain that to her, I get into more trouble. :)

---

You'd think "Wow! Honey, you look hot, really beautiful" would be enough.

I guess we should be happy to have beautiful women and make the extra effort to figure out what's different lately.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by foxx

But where's the joke? ;)

---

Lol foxx

Some times you just can't win. Wife walks out wearing two different shoes, ask which one do you like, I say the left one, she says you don't like the right one? I didn't say that! I said I like the left one better. I don't know how I pulled it off but my wife is beautiful too! She has always deserved better

Wife: what do you feel like for dinner?
Me: oh doesn't matter anything sounds good
Wife: yea but you always say that, I want you to have an opinion...
Me: oh babe you know I eat just about anything, what do you feel like?
Wife: see babe I wanna know what you want for dinner
Me: ok Texas road house
Wife: I don't know I'm not in the mood for that
Me: ok, 3 amigos
Wife: yea, I'm not really in the mood for Mexican food
Me: for the love of god woman what do you feel like then!?

And I'm the bad guy... :cower:

Sounds like the conversation I have every day before dinner.

Very early in my marriage my wife baked some brownies. When I tried one she asked "Do you like them?" I replied, and its still finny to me "ten thousand more and we can build a brick house". I love her so much:)

Maw, bless her heart, is in "Why am I and who " land until she's awake for about a half hour and gets a cup of java down. One morning she over slept and had to hurry getting ready for work.

The evening she was all embarrassed. While walking around in the office some of her coworkers will giggle and laugh at her but she didn't know why. Finally one said, "Miss Jackie, you're wearing two different shoes! Yep, one blue and one red and both a different style. "Oh my God" she said, "I didn't even notice" she said.

The next morning when she walked out of her office a guy was walking around wearing a hip boot and a sneaker. Her friend in the repair office had a high heel and a flip flop on. As she walked around EVERYONE was wearing something different on each foot. One of her drivers came into her office wearing a flipper and a cowboy boot. The plant manager was wearing only one shoe and nothing on the other, no sock and had his toe nails painted different colors!

They all said the same thing to her when she pointed and laughed "Oh my God, I didn't even notice"! :p

Bill

And she likes them so much she has another pair just like them.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Russmerle

Wife: what do you feel like for dinner?
Me: oh doesn't matter anything sounds good
Wife: yea but you always say that, I want you to have an opinion...
Me: oh babe you know I eat just about anything, what do you feel like?
Wife: see babe I wanna know what you want for dinner
Me: ok Texas road house
Wife: I don't know I'm not in the mood for that
Me: ok, 3 amigos
Wife: yea, I'm not really in the mood for Mexican food
Me: for the love of god woman what do you feel like then!?

And I'm the bad guy... :cower:

---

so you been eavesdropping me and my wife???? lol!