ger42
12-31-2014, 06:39 PM
Not sure if these have been posted before if so pleas excuse an old goat, if not have fun.
A Man bought a new fridge for his house.
To get rid of his old fridge (still
working), he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it
saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.'
For three days
the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.
He eventually
decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.
So he changed
the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'
The next day someone stole it !!!
They walk
amongst us and reproduce!
-------------------------------------
One day I was
walking down the beach with
Some friends when someone
shouted.....
"Look at that dead bird!"
Someone looked up at the sky
and said..."Where?"
They walk
among us and reproduce!
----------------------------------------------------------
While looking at
a house, my brother asked the
real estate agent which direction was north
because
He didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
She
asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'
My brother
explained that the sun rises in the east
And has for some time. She
shook her head and said,
'Oh, I don't keep up with all that
stuff......'
They Walk
Among Us and reproduce!
--------------------------------------------
My colleague and I
were eating our lunch in our cafeteria,
When we overheard an admin girl
talking about the
Sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the
beach.
She drove down in a convertible, but said
She "didn't think
she'd get sunburned
Because the car was moving."
They Walk
Among Us and reproduce!
------------------------------------
My sister has a
lifesaving tool in her car
Which is designed to cut through a seat belt
if she gets trapped.
She keeps it in the car
trunk.
They Walk Among Us
and reproduce!
-------------------------------------------------
I couldn't find
my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office
and reported the loss.
The woman there smiled and told me not to
worry
Because she was a trained professional and
Said I was in good
hands. 'Now,' she asked me,
'Has your plane arrived yet?'...
(I work
with professionals like this.)
They
Walk Among Us and reproduce!
------------------------------------------------
While working at a
pizza parlor I observed a man
Ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared
to be alone and the cook
Asked him if he
would like it cut
Into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some
time
Then said "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm
hungry
Enough to eat 6 pieces."
They Walk
Among Us and reproduce!
-------------------------------------------------
And last, but not
least:
Dumb as a box of Rocks
TRUE STORY :
A noted
psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function . and a man asked a question
'Would you mind
telling me, Doctor,' he asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in
somebody who appears completely normal?'
'Nothing is
easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer
with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the
track.'
'What sort of
question asked the man.
Well, you might
ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one
of them. Which one?''
the man thought a
moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have
another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about
history.'
Sadly, they walk
among us and reproduce!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Traffic Camera
A man was driving when
he saw the flash of a
traffic camera.He figured that his picture had
been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding.
Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot,
driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to
think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the
area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a
fourth time with the same result. He did this a fifth time and was now
laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's
pace.
Two weeks
later, he got five tickets in the mail for Driving without a seat
belt !!!
They Walk Among Us
and reproduce!
The really scary truth is They Also Vote!
_______________________________________________ Bestjokelist mailing list http://naftolin.com/mailman/listinfo/bestjokelist_naftolin.com
A Man bought a new fridge for his house.
To get rid of his old fridge (still
working), he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it
saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.'
For three days
the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.
He eventually
decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.
So he changed
the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'
The next day someone stole it !!!
They walk
amongst us and reproduce!
-------------------------------------
One day I was
walking down the beach with
Some friends when someone
shouted.....
"Look at that dead bird!"
Someone looked up at the sky
and said..."Where?"
They walk
among us and reproduce!
----------------------------------------------------------
While looking at
a house, my brother asked the
real estate agent which direction was north
because
He didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
She
asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'
My brother
explained that the sun rises in the east
And has for some time. She
shook her head and said,
'Oh, I don't keep up with all that
stuff......'
They Walk
Among Us and reproduce!
--------------------------------------------
My colleague and I
were eating our lunch in our cafeteria,
When we overheard an admin girl
talking about the
Sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the
beach.
She drove down in a convertible, but said
She "didn't think
she'd get sunburned
Because the car was moving."
They Walk
Among Us and reproduce!
------------------------------------
My sister has a
lifesaving tool in her car
Which is designed to cut through a seat belt
if she gets trapped.
She keeps it in the car
trunk.
They Walk Among Us
and reproduce!
-------------------------------------------------
I couldn't find
my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office
and reported the loss.
The woman there smiled and told me not to
worry
Because she was a trained professional and
Said I was in good
hands. 'Now,' she asked me,
'Has your plane arrived yet?'...
(I work
with professionals like this.)
They
Walk Among Us and reproduce!
------------------------------------------------
While working at a
pizza parlor I observed a man
Ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared
to be alone and the cook
Asked him if he
would like it cut
Into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some
time
Then said "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm
hungry
Enough to eat 6 pieces."
They Walk
Among Us and reproduce!
-------------------------------------------------
And last, but not
least:
Dumb as a box of Rocks
TRUE STORY :
A noted
psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function . and a man asked a question
'Would you mind
telling me, Doctor,' he asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in
somebody who appears completely normal?'
'Nothing is
easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer
with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the
track.'
'What sort of
question asked the man.
Well, you might
ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one
of them. Which one?''
the man thought a
moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have
another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about
history.'
Sadly, they walk
among us and reproduce!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Traffic Camera
A man was driving when
he saw the flash of a
traffic camera.He figured that his picture had
been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding.
Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot,
driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to
think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the
area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a
fourth time with the same result. He did this a fifth time and was now
laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's
pace.
Two weeks
later, he got five tickets in the mail for Driving without a seat
belt !!!
They Walk Among Us
and reproduce!
The really scary truth is They Also Vote!
_______________________________________________ Bestjokelist mailing list http://naftolin.com/mailman/listinfo/bestjokelist_naftolin.com